Masturbation

Often times I will ask Master for permission to masturbate when He's not here and when I do so, I don't feel guilty, because I know that He understands me having needs that He can't always fulfill. So, you think that when He masturbates without me I would be okay with it, because I understand that He has needs also, but no I get jealous. But what's really funny is, I'm not jealous over another woman, I'm jealous of His hand.

How freakin' weird is that?? Weird. I also feel that He would rather not use me, deep down I know that's not the case, if I was here when the urge hit He would use me, but if I'm not, He's allowed to relieve Himself. Maybe I feel that He should ask me permission to masturbate without me, but that's just plain 'ole silly isn't it?

I don't know why this is getting to me so much, just something in me hates it, but my brain keeps telling myself to shut up and get over it and I will in due time.

It sometimes amazes me how some of the oddest things get to a person, even when you can stop and laugh about it.

Rich's kari